Ugh. I just got home from a long weekend in Belgium and I am sad. You know, the sunday blues. I had it coming.
I knew already upfront I would have them. Maybe I even turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy (Any positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person’s behavior toward them in a manner that causes those expectations to be fulfilled.)
On Thursday, we had a marketing campaign in Antwerp, so I already arrived at my grandma’s in the evening. The next day I worked from home at my dad’s place. In the evening we went out for dinner and afterwards my old manager joined for drinks.
On Saturday, I took my grandma shopping and after having lunch together, I met up with a good friend of mine. In the evening, I had a family gathering and even after that I went to another friend for a sleepover. The day after, a third friend joined for a brunch and then I came back home, to Amsterdam.
Today, “Home” is an empty shell though. Vittorio left to Poland for work, so there was no-one here waiting for me. After being surrounded by so many people this weekend, being indulged in so much love – I feel pretty empty now.
Don’t get me wrong – I can enjoy coming home to an empty house and enjoy the silence and the me-time. It’s just hard for me to go from everything to nothing.
On the bus home, I was reading the news on my phone. As I read one article, I felt my stomach pulling together. It said there had been a deadly ghostrider accident in Brecht, in the direction of Amsterdam. The ghostrider hit another car and did not survive the crash. Luckily the 2 other people of the other car did. The highway was fully blocked for a couple of hours after that.
Why it upset me? Because I was there, maybe only minutes before… I remember driving there and looking for the next exit to a gas station because I had to use the restroom. It’s a scary thought that I could have been involved in that crash. I don’t want to think about it too much.
I’ll think I’ll grab some junk food, drop myself on the couch into a ball and wait for today to be over… This day and these feelings will pass as well…