Of course I am far from a relationship expert, but here are some tips I can give from my personal experience when you just started living together
#1 Give each other space
Sure, you are living together, but it doesn’t mean you should do everything together. Vittorio goes to kickboxing twice a week and on those days I have to keep myself busy. It’s good to find your own hobby. Go to yoga, take cooking classes, learn a new language… I decided to participate in the bootcamp lessons that are offered after my working hours at the office.
#2 Go to bed around the same hour
I think it’s important for a couple to have at least a few days when they go to bed at the same time. Not just to have sex, but it’s a part of a certain intimacy to share the evening ritual. A bit of snuggling before going to bed works miracles for your bonding. For me it’s also good to improve my sleeping routine. I used to go to bed around 23 – 23.30. Now with Vitto, we go to bed around 22.30. We read a bit, cuddle a bit and around 23h we go to sleep.
#3 Have “Date nights”
You might think here: but we already see each other every day, isn’t every night date night?
Sure. We come home from work, put on our relax clothes, cook, eat and drop ourselves on the couch.
As perfect as those week days are like that, you need to keep the spark alive in the weekend. Go to dinner and a movie. Or go to the early movie at 5, then come home and cook together and go out again. We did it yesterday (the last option). After the cooking, I changed, put on some make-up and we went to a bar with live music. We had some drinks, did some shots and enjoyed the good music. Break the routine.
#4 Don’t sweat the small stuff
Your boyfriend doesn’t put his dirty socks in the laundry basket? Or always keeps the cap of the toothpaste lingering around? Or something else that annoys you and caused you to snap at him? In the end, it’s easier and less effort if you just do it yourself. In my opinion, it’s not worth it getting worked up about these unsignificant things. He has his flaws, so do I. I look past his, and hope he also looks past mine. The thing is: if you keep getting too annoyed by the little things, you risk no longer seeing the bigger picture. He might not throw his socks in the laundry, but he does bring you your coffee in the morning exactly how you like it.
#5 Communication is key
Talk to each other how it is going. Not in the accusing way “it is so annoying that” or “I hate it how”, but make it sound positive: “it would make me feel better if you threw your socks into the laundry.” or “I love it when you…”
Besides this, keep complimenting each other. How great they look in a certain shirt, the way you like their hair, their smile,… Remind not only them but also yourself why you are so crazy about them. Complimenting each other already comes a long way in building a strong relationship. Your partner will feel valued, appreciated, sexy, loved. Just with a few words.
Keep the love strong.