Posted in ❤️ Personal

Reassuring love

I have had my fair share of relationships so far. At the age of 27 I had about 12 of them. Some lasted only 2 weeks, others lasted 2 years. Sometimes I ended them, sometimes the other party did. You might find that number quite a lot by the way – or maybe not at all. I have been judged about it by some exes, but now I don’t care anymore.

I have learned from each and every relationship and know now more than ever what I want and need and more importantly: what I don’t want at all. Relationships can either give you energy, or drain you completely. This time – I think I met someone very special. I am a chronic overthinker, I just can’t help myself from (over)analysing things. I panick way too easily and let the made up scenario’s in my head get to me. I realise this very well, but it is so hard to stop.

Anyway, the point I was getting to is that Vittorio is so much different from all the relationships I have had so far. My last couple of boyfriends I met through online dating because I believed that this was a perfect way of getting to know each other online and see if you are a good match. I think it is only now that I fully realise what a distorted image that can give you. Someone can pretend to be all they want online and write the nicest things, but be completely different when you are in a relationship with them.

If I met Vittorio online – which would not be much likely since he lived in Amsterdam – I am not sure we would have gotten to the point where we are now. I don’t know. We are pretty different types of people with different intrests. I am very extraverted, he is more introverted. He likes to read about more ‘intelligent’ stuff where I lose myself in a brainless novel or a good (auto)biography. He loves history where I barely can remember anything I ever learned. I am emotional where he is super rational.

Again, the differences scared me (and honestly still scare me sometimes). But I also realised that these differences might just be how we complete each other. He calms me down where I can make him more extraverted. I am the planner where he is disorganized. He can teach me about history and I can teach him .. Well I don’t know actually. Something else 😉

But the love we share… It is so reassuring. He took the time to read me, get to know and understand me. And I did the same with him. Where at first I was very suspicious about getting hurt again that I tested his loyalty so much. I checked his phone (not proud of that) but I had to know he was true. After knowing each other for 2 years now, I feel this calmness that I haven’t felt for a very long time.

Even though at first he might not be what I was looking for, he turned out to be everything I need. Reassuring love.

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